So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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