someone get that fucking seahorse.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
