im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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