hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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