why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
