I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
