..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
