Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
