Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
