I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
