So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
