I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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