i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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