She said her name was "party"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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