I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
