God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
