You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
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It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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