Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
