Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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