i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
