I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You're like the curious george of whores
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
