Hey man sorry I got all grabby
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
