My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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