dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
