Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
