Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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(415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t

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(503): View more from Oregon

I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.

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(503): I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much. http://tfl.nu/97de

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party http://tfl.nu/p535

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(519): View more from Ontario

Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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(519): Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes. http://tfl.nu/ehgd

Replies (35) Good night (904) Bad night (7940) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Ontario

he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.

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(905): he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family. http://tfl.nu/wcpl

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(208): View more from Idaho

My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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(208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew

Replies (23) Good night (4047) Bad night (1786) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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(908): Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now http://tfl.nu/hukx

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(817): View more from Texas

Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?

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(817): Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for? http://tfl.nu/2cqu

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(703): View more from Virginia

Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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(703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw

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(513): View more from Ohio

you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

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(513): you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one http://tfl.nu/cjl0

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

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(814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej

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(347): View more from New York

In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.

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(347): In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well. http://tfl.nu/gd78

Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (392)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?

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(859): I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown? http://tfl.nu/qdbc

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

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(+44): tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again http://tfl.nu/n6kd

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(404): View more from Georgia

So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.

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(404): So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord. http://tfl.nu/381z

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