I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.