I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
