it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
