i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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