Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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