if i can run in heels then i can drive
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize