if you like me you must not know who I am
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well you can't waste a boner
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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