My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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