hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.