i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?