Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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