started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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