Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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