Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
