I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
