It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
