White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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