I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
