Don't you send me to vm
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
