don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
