Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
