it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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