Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
