It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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