whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
