hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
