Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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