Apparently you make a good broom.
one might say we're banned from that church
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
