I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
