i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
