I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
